All the world’s a stage, and as the final notes fade, the loudest act of love must be to let go.
When your relationship reaches a point of no return, what do you do? When it becomes apparent that staying together only paves a path for self-destruction. Do you cling to the wilting vines, knowing that they will break?
Afraid that leaving will unspool the very fabric of who you are and what you know. Or do you sing poems about being “the moon to their sun,” knowing all too well that you were never meant to share the same sky?
Accepting the fact that you must let go of a loved one is most certainly a hard pill to swallow. Choosing your loved one’s welfare over your own desires requires selflessness and bravery. Letting go can sometimes be the biggest act of sacrifice you can make; no bouquet of flowers or chocolate could match the depth of this sacrifice.
To let go is to acknowledge that love isn’t about control or possessiveness; it is about growing and caring. And if that cannot happen, the only right decision is to let go.
It is undoubtably an emotional ordeal to let go. We are born to love and be loved, and once it has been etched into our souls, it is a demanding task to simply—stop. Losing the comfort and familiarity of someone you have most likely known for years, feels like loosing yourself as well. However, it is a point to consider that while letting go is a selfless act, holding on is plain selfish.
Holding on to a loved one that isn’t meant for you is like— as the famous quote by Osho goes— ‘If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up, it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.’ A flower is meant to be watered, given sunlight, essentially to be taken care of. By holding on to someone, you are plucking them from their only means of existence, stopping them from growing and planting a rotting seed instead.
You might argue that your love runs so deep that you simply cannot let go, that it would be a betrayal of all the promises you have offered. And In pursuits of denial, suggesting that it is not that simple, that the complexities of your relationship cannot be understood by the average mind…
But consider this, saying that you do not have the strength to leave might suggest that you do not love them enough. To actively wish harm upon a loved one, whether conscious or subconscious is a measure of your love. You simple cannot wish harm upon someone you love.
But when you choose to stay despite knowing the harm caused, the foundation for destruction is slowly laid. It always begins with a cycle of mutterings and remarks until a slow resentment begins to brew, finally turning into a string of hate. As it grows, it taints any and all traces of love.
And when the pot boils and overflows, you leave only with a bag of resentment. To love and be loved is not only a beautiful but a basic human need. To love someone, is to wrench out a piece of your heart and present it on a platter. Even in the act of leaving, a part of your heart will always belong to them. It is an unearthly weight to keep that part of your heart filled with hate and resentment. It weighs you down and haunts you for the rest of your life.
It is interesting to think that we claim to be so self-aware to the point where— and let me suggest this—we become slaves to the idea of free will. We claim to be free willed but rarely choose what is right for us. I say "slaves" because there seems to be no comprehension of free will when it comes to love.
The very notion of love can feel like all soul and no mind. We read piles of books, blogs, and go to therapists seeking help for our relationships, all the while knowing that sometimes the only option is to let go. But never seem to learn.
Loving and letting go seem like such paradoxical acts. It’s difficult to comprehend that letting go is an act of love. Our immediate idea of love is always proximity, but I think we misunderstand love.
Love isn’t always about being physically close. Sometimes, what really matters is the thoughts you carry when they are away. Just as we are reminded of someone in unexpected objects, we also find them in the subtleties of nature. Think about it, does looking at a glass swan remind of the joke they made on the first day of sophomore year? Or do the streaks of blue and orange in the sky remind of you of how their eyes looked in the dark? Love isn’t always meant to be shouted from the rooftops, sometimes it is enough to be held quietly in your heart.
Love and letting go aren’t so different—they’re intertwined really. To love someone is to let go; it is to want the best for them, even if it hurts both of you in the process. But know this, letting go doesn’t mean you simply stop loving them.
You can let go of someone and still love them. Our bodies are designed to remember people—time may pass, and so will their words. But there will always be a certain bench in a park, so brilliantly brown that it takes you back to another day, another oak tree. Or a particular smell that wafts through your pores, making your bones ache with the love you once held. The truth is, the people we love, and meet are forever engraved into our hearts. Like my friend says, ‘We are all mosaics of the people we’ve once loved’.
Letting go doesn’t always mean forgetting; sometimes, it just means tucking away a place in your heart for them. So, sometimes you just have to hold your breath, squeeze their hand, and mutter, ‘Anyways, don’t be a stranger’, knowing that you will be.
